A Legacy of Love, Leadership, and Joy

Debbie Miller was a teacher in the truest sense of the word. She didn’t just impart knowledge; she fostered curiosity, kindness, and a love of learning.

In every classroom, hallway, and corner of Collegiate, everyone felt her presence. Not through grand gestures, but through her quiet, steadfast commitment to creating a warm and loving environment. She was everywhere the students were: a play, a recital, carpool, a classroom reading. The students knew Debbie cared because they saw the joy on her face and felt the love she had for them. Debbie had the ability to make the smallest accomplishment seem enormous because she celebrated it with all her heart, and the students felt that.

On Feb. 16, Debbie passed away peacefully at home, surrounded by family. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the spring of 2024 and although the disease may have weakened her body, it never came remotely close to intimidating her or diminishing her indomitable spirit.

For Debbie, the students always came first. This is how she led, made decisions, and lived her vocation — she always focused on the needs of the students entrusted to her care. She never settled for second best, especially when it came to the children. As the Head of the Lower School, Debbie dedicated her heart and soul to nurturing the growth of her students, guiding them with a deep sense of care. Her impact on Collegiate can never truly be measured by the mere passage of time but by the countless lives she touched.

Throughout her 49 years in education, the last 39 of which she spent brightening the halls of Collegiate, Debbie was an absolute master at conveying classroom lessons to Lower and Middle School children, but it was her depth of character, genuine kindness and compassion, empathetic nature, and steadfast dedication to her faith, family, and friends that truly set her apart.

“It is difficult to think of Collegiate without Debbie Miller,” said Head of School Jeff Mancabelli. “She was someone who inspired others, led with heart, and shaped the culture that defines our community. Her genuine care for the students and everyone she encountered will be remembered always. It was a privilege to know Debbie and work alongside her.”

It’s often said the Lower School is the happiest place on earth. It’s the truth, and Debbie was at the heart of that joy. Joy is not just a fleeting emotion; it is a way of being, a way of giving, and a way of leaving a lasting imprint on the lives of others. If ever there was someone who embodied joy in its purest form, it was Debbie. For nearly four decades at Collegiate School, Debbie wove joy into the very fabric of the community, shaping the experiences of students, teachers, and families alike with her warmth, kindness, and unwavering spirit. In every classroom and hallway, Debbie’s warmth was felt.

“Imparting knowledge is only part of Debbie’s work. She fostered curiosity,” one Collegiate colleague remarked. “Her students learned to love the process of learning. They didn’t fear it. They didn’t avoid it, and they embraced it because she modeled that joy and commitment to learning and curiosity.”

True to the strength of her kindness, her vivacious spirit never faltered, even after her diagnosis. The first day of school was an event Debbie would not miss — no matter the circumstances — because, for Debbie, the students always came first. It was August 2024, five months after Debbie’s diagnosis, and she was standing in front of the Lower School, as always, greeting each student and family as they arrived to begin the new school year. Bending down to hug students, consoling the ones with first-day-of-school nerves, she suppressed her own discomfort and gave joy to others. The needs of the students were paramount; her own condition was secondary. Smiling, she walked up and down the Lower School carpool loop, thanking each faculty and staff member for being there that day. Her love for others was boundless. Selfless and grateful, she was an unparalleled leader and educator. “She modeled love, grace, and dignity,” another colleague said of Debbie. “Humble to a fault, she thought of those around her before she ever thought of herself.”

You could see it in her smile: Debbie’s gift was joy. Of all the lessons she taught — to both children and adults — her greatest lesson, one she taught daily, was to see the joy in each moment. Through good days and bad, she reassured you of life’s gift. “She was sweet, selfless, and always smiling,” one colleague said. “Her presence radiated encouragement and support. She was so invested in the joy of others.”

​​A native of Morgantown in Butler County, Kentucky, Debbie arrived at Collegiate in the late summer of 1986 when her husband Bill became minister of music at Second Baptist Church.

She and Bill had married Aug. 10, 1974, when they were students at Western Kentucky University, where she double majored in elementary education and music and earned straight A’s while working 39 hours a week in a drugstore.

After graduating in 1976, she served both as a music teacher and classroom teacher in several school districts in her home state and earned a master’s degree in education from the University of Louisville in 1979.

During her 18 years in Collegiate’s Lower School, Debbie taught, at various times, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th Grade, then crossed the bridge to the Middle School, where she taught 6th Grade language arts and served as an advisor and grade-level technology lead teacher for six years.

“Debbie’s ability to relate to children was exceptional,” another colleague said. “She saw potential in all her students, she challenged them to be the best they could be, and she held them accountable to learn and achieve beyond, perhaps, their own expectations. She took joy in their accomplishments while remaining in the background herself.”

Seeking new challenges, she moved into administration, first as assistant head of the Middle School (2010-2014), then as Collegiate’s Academic Dean (2014-2015), and, beginning in 2015, as head of the Lower School.

Though her heart was always in the classroom, Debbie proved to be an excellent administrator who provided Solomonic wisdom and led with the same guide-on-the-side approach that had endeared her to her students and their families.

Just as she earned their love and respect, likewise she was, almost from day one, a trusted confidant, respected counselor, and dear friend to so many of her colleagues. “Debbie was as good an administrator as she was a teacher,” one colleague said of Debbie’s administrative grace. “Adults rallied around her and wanted to do their very best for her. She never led from a position of power or authority. She was always the consummate teammate. She made all of us better.”

Throughout her career, Debbie also wholeheartedly supported her sons Brent ’98 and Alan ’04 and their families, doted on her and Bill’s five grandchildren, and engaged fully in the life of her church.

To her, each endeavor was a labor of love. To the  amazement of so many, she somehow found the time and summoned the energy to handle a rigorous schedule with joy and a beaming countenance.

“The children were her top priority. She did not rest until each child was heard, every parent question answered, and all teacher needs met.”

“She had a gift for bringing positivity to challenging moments and was the first to jump in and help. Working with Debbie was an incredible gift.”

“Debbie was the epitome of commitment. Her work ethic and coffee drinking are legendary as is the depth of her kindness and empathy. She possessed a unique combination of warmth and strength.”

“At the end of the day, Debbie was always the most ethical and faithful person in every interaction. She’s true-blue. She didn’t just take the high road. She lived every moment of her life on it.”

“Indefatigable, resilient, and resolute, Debbie was, and remains, a pillar of strength and difference maker in the lives of so many.”

Brent, a Collegiate Upper School history teacher and head boys track coach, and his wife Elizabeth have two children: Ann and Henry. Alan, the minister at Orange Baptist Church, and his wife Mary Beth have three: Sarah Embry, Holton, and Elliott.

Debbie’s grandchildren have always called her DD. When Annie ’30 and Henry ’32 began Lower School, other children picked up on “DD” and began calling her that rather than Mrs. Miller, sometimes to the chagrin of their parents.

“She truly loves her children, past and present, like they’re her own,” one colleague said. “Her level of interest in them is real. You can see in her eyes the joy they bring her.”

The name stuck, and Debbie loved the fact that it did. Totally unpretentious and welcoming, she enjoyed the informality and the family touch it provided. Debbie Miller, you see, was all about family, both hers and the one she had on North Mooreland Road, which she also treasured.

Debbie’s diagnosis was stunning, but she faced her challenges with uncommon strength and courage, never submitted to self-pity, and never, ever questioned her faith.

In fact, those who know her, especially those close to her, know full well that it was her strong faith in Jesus Christ that guided her through this “momentary affliction” and assured her that she would one day ascend into her heavenly home.

“Though we grieve the loss of Debbie, we take comfort in knowing that her life was lived with meaning and a love for others that was boundless,” Mancabelli said. “She leaves behind a school community that was enriched by her presence. And for all who knew Debbie, we will be forever touched by her courage, love, and unshakable faith — knowing her spirit will always continue to inspire and guide us.”