Honoring Collegiate's Retirees

    His words were typically well-chosen, heartfelt, and honorific.
    They reflected his appreciation for the loyalty and dedication of our friends who have given heart and soul to their calling and whose shoes will be impossible to fill.
    In the spirit of the moment, they also made us laugh.
    His presentation, you see, was more slapstick than formal, intended more for the ears than the eyes of a discerning lover of verse.
    Six of our retirees have served 30 years or more. Three have called Collegiate home for more than 40.
    The longest in tenure is Burrell Stultz, who has held forth in her Lower School science classroom since 1968.  The short timer is Joan Barnes, an Upper School math teacher who signed on just 17 years ago.
    Regardless of duration, all have enhanced the experience for everyone and left indelible marks through their teaching, coaching, community service, personality, strength of character, or, truthfully, all of the above.  They were, are, and always will be committed to excellence and to the children whose lives they touched each day.
    So with apologies to the Shakespeare, Bard of Avon, let’s hear, in part, what Evans had to say as they reported one-by-one to the stage to the heartfelt applause of their colleagues.

    All hail Joan Barnes
    Who joined us in ‘96.
    She proved that derivatives deserve a place in the mix.
    She brought clarity to Calculus AB and BC
    And coached brainiacs who duked it out on TV.

    All hail Patsy Hallett, who launched many a star
    With musical rhythms and beats on a bar.
    She made all those Lower Schoolers really jam
    Even as seniors they know “A Promise I Am.”

    All hail Linda Pagel, who starts them at five.
    Try facing the kindergarten each morning - you’ll know you’re alive.
    Our littlest Cougars start in her Luck Hall nest
    And launch their careers in the way that is best.

    All hail Mike Pagel, whose passion is matter.
    He loves atoms and protons and humorous patter.
    His genius spans puns and melodic strings
    And using high places to launch all manner of things.

    All hail Neil Weiser, whose name is a fit.
    He knows so much history he must have lived it.
    He can transfix his students and bring to life
    The roots of America in its glory and strife.

    All hail Ann Cullen, whose Middle School days
    Roil with sagas and dramas and pubescent ways.
    For so many students, Ann is a port in the storm.
    She makes feeling normal feel more like the norm.

    All hail Barbara Anderson, who came on the scene
    And defended nature around us long before we were green.
    Her teaching inspired us in both conscience and mind.
    She has nurtured young intellects; she’s one of a kind.

    All hail Lewis Lawson, known to all as Bub.
    He is renowned near and far for gathering coins in a tub.
    He taught English like a pro and spoke up for those with needs.
    He is master of all both great words and great deeds.

    All hail Charlie McFall
    …You don’t see a record like his due just to good luck.
    His model of good sportsmanship is easy to laud.
    We will all miss him dearly, but none more than Claud.

    All hail Burrell Stultz, whose time in the Lower School hive
    Began in the year I was turning five.
    None has demonstrated more care or grace.
    For 45 years, she has shaped this place.

    So there you have it, a fitting tribute.
    But there’s a catch.
    Our retirees never really leave.
    They simply slow the pace, shed the responsibilities of grading and
deadlines, and enjoy another cup of coffee rather than rushing off in the morning.
    They’re always part of the Collegiate culture, the footprint.
    Their legacies live on in their students.
    And thankfully so.
                      -- Weldon Bradshaw