From the Darkness, Light

Far off in the distance, though, a candle glowed ever so faintly, and, through their unfathomable grief, Weezie and Tommy Thompson never lost sight of the hope-inspiring glow of that candle.

 

On Nov. 25, 2016, the Thompsons had lost their 26-year-old daughter Perrin to a rare form of kidney cancer, a disease diagnosed six-and-a-half years earlier just as the 2008 Collegiate School graduate was beginning Spring Break of her sophomore year at Furman University.

 

Perrin’s health crisis and passing had rocked their world, and now, as winter approached, they and their family, which included sons Chris ’11 and Alex ’13, were attempting to recalibrate their lives.

 

Perrin had fought the good fight, and they (and all who knew her, for that matter) drew strength and inspiration from the courage, grace, and resolute nature of this humble and kind young woman, who eight years earlier had been selected by the Upper School girls to be the Madonna in Collegiate’s Christmas Pageant, an honor of the highest order.

 

“Perrin had a sweet, gentle spirit,” Weezie said one recent spring afternoon as she reflected on her family’s odyssey. “Her Christian faith was always a part of her. She loved writing and telling stories. She also adored French. When she went to Furman, she majored in elementary education and was planning to be an elementary school teacher. She just always loved little children, and they loved her.”

 

After undergoing surgery to remove her left kidney and beginning a regimen that would, over time, include chemotherapy, radiation, and immunotherapy to treat the cancer that had metastasized to her spine, Perrin returned to Furman the following fall with a positive outlook and strong heart.

 

“Perrin was by nature a joyful person,” Tommy said. “She always had a smile on her face. She was constantly dealing not only with the side effects of the chemo, which were brutal, but with the nerve pain in her spine. She was truly suffering with the cancer. So many people thought she was in remission because she looked so good and never complained, but six-and-a-half years was just tough. The peaks and valleys. The intensity of it. The fullness of it. It was just an amazing journey that we really didn’t know was coming to an end until the last day or two.”

 

Despite her health challenges, Perrin lived life as fully as she possibly could.

 

She enjoyed her college experience and graduated in 2013, just a year behind her class. Along the way, she taught underserved children in the Greenville, SC, area. She took trips to France and Ireland with her family. And she met a guy named Joe Hall, they fell in love, and they married Sept. 22, 2013.

 

“It was known to the world how serious (Perrin’s condition) was,” Tommy said. “Joe’s parents supported him and loved her, knowing that there was a very good likelihood that it could create heartbreak down the road.”

 

Throughout the ordeal and in the aftermath, the Thompsons relied on their strong faith as best they could.

 

“We just buckled up to do everything we could to care for Perrin and also care for Chris and Alex, who adored her,” Tommy said. “We learned tremendous things about dealing with the kind of suffering we were going through. We needed to create space to process things. In the midst of something that creates such self-absorption, we needed to constantly find some joy in life and help others. Perrin was the same way.

 

“We learned and grew in ourselves and in our faith. It’s a real challenge to trust God when you’re trusting him for something that’s beyond one, singular, particular outcome. We knew that faith in God was based on more than just whether He healed her or not.”

 

Life goes on. It must go on. Though the Thompsons were grief-stricken, they knew that to honor Perrin and her grace under unimaginable pressure, they must find a way to move forward, even if their steps were tremulous and tentative.

 

Early in 2017, they happened upon a book entitled Healing the Heartbreak of Grief by Dr. Peter James Flamming, the pastor at Richmond’s First Baptist Church from 1983-2006.

 

“He (presented) an idea that the way to move through grief was to imagine at some point in the future the life you would like to see happen,” Tommy said. “I thought that was a good idea because we were completely absorbed in the moment. I wrote out some things. One was to build an orphanage in Perrin’s name because she loved little children so much. Weezie and I talked about it. Yeah, we’d love to do that, but we had no idea how.”

 

In time, they developed a friendship with Michael J. Thaler, the founder and international executive director of Effective Ministries, an organization whose mission is the development of Niger in West Africa.

 

As their discussions evolved, Thaler mentioned that Effective Ministries supported a K-12 Christian school in Niamey, the capital city, and was hoping to construct several new classrooms and an administration building, library, and computer lab that would allow enrollment to expand from 600 to 1,000 students.

 

Contributing to the effort, Tommy said, “was a no-brainer.”

 

“Michael had been working with the ministry and going to Niger for 20 years,” Weezie said. “He had all the relationships. We felt good about the integrity of the work. There were a lot of other pieces that fit. Niger is a former French colony, so the dominant language is French, which was Perrin’s love. And it was for children.”

 

The initiative to honor Perrin in a quiet and understated yet intensely compelling manner was underway.

 

Then, a month later, Thaler delivered a powerful message.

 

“He told us that the people in Niger were so excited not only by the gift but by the story behind it that they wanted to rename the school the Perrin School,” Tommy said. “That just blew us away. We never expected that. We were thrilled.”

 

The Thompsons’ initial discussions with Thaler had begun in early 2021. In February 2022, they traveled to Niger for the dedication. They expected a ribbon-cutting and maybe a speech or two.

 

What they received was a warm reception that included the nation’s Secretary of Education, local dignitaries in their finery, administrators, teachers, the entire student body, and media coverage.

 

The ceremony included a student choir singing, in English, “Perrin’s Song,” an original creation whose theme, Tommy said, “was to be happy where you are as you look down from heaven and see what’s happening here.”

 

There wasn’t a dry eye in the audience.

 

“It was powerful,” Weezie said. “Very tender and moving.”

 

And above the school’s front gate were the words from Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables: “To Love Another Person Is to See the Face of God.” It was Perrin’s senior yearbook quote.

 

The work continues. Nigerien authorities are developing a network of Perrin Schools throughout the country, which is one of the poorest in the world and where educational opportunities are limited. At the end of the 6th grade, students take an exam. If they pass, they continue their education. In Niger’s public schools, the pass rate is 22 percent. In the Perrin School (and its predecessor), it’s 98 percent, and approximately 95 percent of those students will ultimately pass another test allowing them to go to college.

 

“In one fell swoop, this (network of schools) not only educates these kids but gives them a pathway out of poverty,” Tommy said. “We feel like it’s potentially the impetus to have a massive impact on the country as we expand. It’s giving these kids the chance to become educated and become leaders.”      

 

When Weezie and Tommy visited the second school in the network, then in its formative stages, there were but two elementary school classrooms with dirt floors, cinderblock walls, and a tin roof.  On a piece of plywood that separated them were the English words, “Never Give Up,” inscribed in light blue letters. The sight was stunning to them.

 

“That’s been our family motto since we had a family,” Tommy said. “They didn’t know that was our motto.”

 

Nothing changes Perrin’s loss, of course, but the Thompsons’ involvement with this cause, this calling that is larger than themselves has been spiritually therapeutic. Indeed, it has helped to ease their pain. From the darkness, then, has come light.

 

“I view it as what God has done with the situation,” Tommy said. “We could never have orchestrated this. In our minds, God has a much bigger story. Perrin’s suffering and death were part of that story for tremendous growth for what we think will be thousands and thousands of really disadvantaged people in Niger. It’s just a privilege to be part of this. We’ve seen such immense good come out of it, and we’ve seen immense growth in ourselves and our sons that comes from dealing with something as deep as this experience.”

 

The odyssey continues.

 

“It’s really hard,” Weezie said. “We’re trusting God to help us. Everyone endures hardships and suffering. This is ours. I read a writer on grief who urged people to be enlarged, not diminished, by their grief. That’s our prayer: that God will help us through that. We can’t do that on our own. The creation of a network of Perrin Schools feels like one way that we can be enlarged by our grief.”

~Weldon Bradshaw