Teaching Resilience

Her life both at home and at school was happy and predictable.
 

Then one day, her mother called a family meeting and told Henrietta, her brother Owen, and her sister Nora that poisonous thistleberries had fallen in the forest and they would have to stay home until the danger passed.

Suddenly, their idyllic existence changed dramatically, and there was no end in sight. Each day brought challenges. They would have to learn new routines. Their new normal was both scary and disconcerting. What’s a hedgehog to do?

Such is the storyline of Henrietta’s Thistleberry Boots, an allegorical children’s book released May 31 by Dr. Laura Anderson Kirby, Collegiate class of 2007 and a clinical psychologist who recently joined the practice of Dr. Lauren Turner Brown in Chapel Hill, NC.

“The book is all about change and how you deal with change,” Laura said.  “Unexpected things that happen in every kid’s life can be upsetting and challenging. How can we be resilient when faced with these unexpected challenges?”

Through the narrative of Henrietta, which is geared primarily toward children ages four through 10 she attempts to provide answers. 

“My goal,” she continued, “is to open conversations with kids who don’t know how to tell their parents they’re struggling or worried. Oftentimes, kids can move forward once they’re able to verbalize their feelings.”

When Laura speaks of the challenges that accompany change, she speaks from experience, especially over the past few years when her life has been a whirlwind of change, mostly in a very positive way.

A volunteer stint in the summer of 2008 at the Faison Center in Richmond, a school founded by her family, had piqued her interest in child development, especially atypical child development, and she wrote her senior thesis at Duke University about language development in 18-month-old infants.

After she graduated in 2011 with a degree in psychology (and minor in English), she spent two years in a research fellowship focusing on autism at the Yale Child Study Center.

In 2013, she began graduate school at the University of Maryland where she focused on children with autism and also received broad training in a variety of childhood disorders including anxiety, depression, ADHD, and OCD.

Five years later, with a PhD in psychology on her résumé, she returned to the Yale Child Study Center for her internship and post-doctoral fellowship in her specialty.

“I see so much potential in these (autistic) kids,” she said. “So many of them are brilliant and fun to be around. I really embrace the way a lot of their brains work. We really need all different sorts of people and thinkers in our world. 

“I’m motivated to help these kids succeed in school and socially so that they can really harness their gifts. A lot of them are just so honest. That’s one of the things I love about autistic people. They tell you how it is. There’s no beating around the bush. There’s no subtlety. I find that refreshing.”

If years of rigorous graduate school training were not time-intensive enough, on May 21, 2016, Laura married Nick Kirby, whom she had met during their freshman year at Duke. Their son Owen was born July 20, 2017, and their daughter Nora July 22, 2020.

Nick is an attorney who worked for firms in the D.C. and New Haven areas but stepped back temporarily from his law practice to help with their young children and support Laura’s efforts while she completed her training.

“It’s a huge gift to have a such a supportive partner,” she said. “Honestly, that was how I was able to have a child and do this demanding two-year fellowship in child psychology.”

Then came the pandemic, during which Nora was born and the Kirby family moved to Durham where Nick now works as an attorney for Parexel. Her first job was as a clinical associate at the Duke Center for Autism and Brain Development working on a NIH grant doing assessments via Zoom with 18- to 24-month-olds.

“Very challenging, as you can imagine,” she said. “The goal of the assessments was to determine if the child had autism for the purpose of the research study.”

Clinical work beckoned, though, which precipitated her move to private practice.

“I really saw a big need for psychologists to deliver good therapy and assessment, especially with Covid, which is a huge mental health need in our community and all communities,” she said. “It’s work I enjoy, so it’s kind of a win-win.”

The myriad changes in the life of her family combined with the uncertainty caused by Covid and Laura’s need for a creative outlet (often in the wee hours of the night) provided the impetus for Henrietta’s story.  

“I wanted to do something to help kids because this was such a tough time,” she said. “My son Owen was really struggling with transitions. We moved to a different state. He had a baby sister. Dad started a new job. He started a new school. He got a big-boy bed. 
    
“I was thinking, so many kids older than him are much more aware of the pandemic. They must be so scared. There were so many changes. They’re used to going to school, but they can’t go to school. For so many kids, there’s a wonderful routine that helps them know what to expect every day. I wanted to do something to make my clinical skills accessible to kids. I thought a children’s book would be a nice springboard for discussion. Oftentimes, a book where a character experiences a challenge provides kids a great opening to talk about their life.”
~Weldon Bradshaw