In It to Win It
They answered the call to education in a simpler, more predictable world.
They step away in a world in which constant change, confusion, and uncertainty are the norm.
The end of the 2019-2020 school year marks the retirement of eight Collegiate colleagues whose combined service on North Mooreland and Blair Roads totals 168 years and whose overall commitment to students and their families, to colleagues, and, truly, to excellence totals 270.
Resilient, resolute, and philosophical, they conclude one chapter of their lives and begin another with the feeling that they and those with whom they’ve shared the journey have turned, and will continue to turn, challenges into opportunities under circumstances both unprecedented and unimaginable.
What follows is a sampling of their insights and reflections – delivered via speaker phone or Zoom, of course.
Bill Rider has taught Middle School math for 29 years. During much of that time, he served as a department chair, class advisor, and coach, most notably as head of the ultra-successful girls varsity soccer team for 21 seasons. In 2004, he received the Brent Award, which annually honors a career educator who exemplifies the teacher, coach, mentor, counselor, friend model so vital to perpetuating a positive school culture.
What’s kept you at Collegiate for your entire career?
The folks that I was fortunate to work with. The relationships with colleagues and kids, in the classroom, on the athletic field. The flexibility. The support.
What’s next?
It’s been 29 intense years. The plan is to take a year off and do some things I never could do: travel to see a series of World Cup qualifiers, see the Colorado mountains in the fall. Things like that were pushed down the priority list because soccer was calling or teaching was calling.
Could you have imagined this ending?
Truthfully, it’s not something I really frame in that fashion. The harder part is that it’s the last group of kids I’ll develop a fun relationship with and impart a little bit of love of math to. I’m just so thankful I was able to have a career in a place where I was surrounded by wonderful people and able to grow as a person.
Lynne Tulou taught high school (mainly English, drama, and public speaking) for 20 years, then subbed for seven years at Collegiate before joining the Lower School team eight years ago as a 4th grade assistant.
What’s made the Collegiate experience worthwhile?
Definitely the students. When I was subbing, I was working kindergarten through 4th. After a while the kids get to know you. They were great kids. Working with 4th graders has been tremendously fun because it’s such a contrast from what I did before in many ways. I’ve loved both.
Do you have plans for the next chapter?
No, I really don’t. We always spend a lot of time at our cottage on the Corrotoman River (off the Rappahannock). That’s the short-term plan, just the summer. During that time, I’ll figure out what I want to do next. I know I won’t be sitting around eating bon-bons and watching soap operas.
Could you have imagined this ending?
No. We’re going out with my greatest weakness, which is technology. I’m much more comfortable with language arts and 4th grade math. I thought I’d be finishing up with the kids, doing what I always do with the small groups. We’d have all those wonderful celebrations at the end of the year like we always do. I was looking forward to that.
Chris Conquest has taught for 30 years, the past 17 at Collegiate in the Middle School math department. He’s also coached tennis at both the varsity and JV level. During his tenure, his boys teams won five Prep League and two VISAA titles, and his girls teams won two League of Independent Schools and two VISAA championships.
What’s made the Collegiate experience meaningful?
I love teaching. I love the fact that it’s a new group of kids every year. Every day, there’s something different. I feel fortunate to teach at Collegiate. I’ve had a supportive administration. To be around the people that I teach with is a privilege. I’ve learned new things every day doing something that I believe in.
What now?
I was an English major way back when (at Princeton). There’s some writing I want to do. Some reading. Cooking classes. Jan (his wife) and I are looking forward to traveling.
Could you have ever imagined this ending?
Not at all. But it reinforces that I feel fortunate about being at Collegiate. We’re a family. We’re working together to make the most of the hand we’re dealt. It does sadden me not to see the faces of the kids each day and feel their energy. I feel especially bad for the seniors, high school and college. In the overall scheme of things, it’s just another tough challenge we make our way through. What’s tough is leaving all the folks you see day-in, day-out and work with.
Lee Bottoms taught in the Richmond Public Schools system for 13 years before joining the Collegiate Lower School team in 1988. For 19 years, she taught either 1st or 2nd grade before moving into an assistant’s role with kindergarten, then 2nd grade.
What’s kept you here 32 years?
I’ve enjoyed wherever I was. Collegiate is such a nice place to work. Everybody works as a team. There’s that spirit. People will do anything for you. I’ve met so many great friends over the years. I just couldn’t leave.
But you are leaving.
The time is right. Before I get too old and can’t move around, I want to spend more time with my grandchildren. Laura (class of ’97) and two grandchildren are in Boston. I’d like to go up whenever I want to. That’s what initially got me thinking. And Scott (’01 and two grandchildren) lives here. Tony (her husband) is retired, and we’d love to do some traveling. I had planned to go to Italy the week after school ended. That’s out. I look forward to rescheduling.
Could you have imagined this ending?
Never. I couldn’t believe we wouldn’t come back, but I’ve been busier than I’ve been in a long time. That’s been nice, but learning how do Zoom is like teaching an old dog new tricks. I’ve leaned on my friends to show me how to do things. Everybody couldn’t have been nicer. I haven’t had a lot of time to dwell on – oh, I won’t see the children – but I do miss them. The whole atmosphere at school – and the children say this too – is that they like remote learning, but they just miss their friends and teachers.
Debbie Hailes has taught Middle School Spanish at Collegiate for 28 years. Along the way, she’s served as an advisor, club sponsor, coach of several sports, and inveterate fan of all things Green and Gold. She was the 2005 Brent Award honoree.
What’s kept you here so long?
Collegiate has been my rock. They support you when times are tough and celebrate when you have good experiences. It’s just been like my family. I would do anything for anybody at Collegiate because that’s how we all are. Collegiate is a place of character. It’s a place of values. It makes me who I am. I just feel alive when I pull into that parking lot every day.
My husband Brian (Hurst) was diagnosed with cancer in 1996. He battled for five years. He lost that battle in 2001. Collegiate was there for me. Actually, after the funeral, Charlie Blair, who was head of the Middle School at that time, was in the church kitchen after the reception washing dishes. When I saw that, I thought, “These people have my heart. These are my people.”
Why is now the right time?
I have certain family situations going on. And if I did one or two more years, I’d be doing it for selfish reasons. I have a husband (Roger Hailes) who’s on a pacemaker and needs me at home. I have a son (Bo ’01) who had a heart attack in January. That was an eye-opener and wake-up call. My daughter (Katie ’05) is expecting her first baby in October. They were all signs that my family needs me, and I have another chapter ahead of me.
Could you have ever imagined this ending?
I don’t think any of us could. It’s hard, but as I’ve told the kids, change is hard, but change can be exciting. Change can be a learning experience. Change can be what you want to make it. We’re all doing the best we can. We’re trying to make it a positive experience. We’re learning new things. I’ve gotten over the sadness and started to celebrate my own immediate family in ways I haven’t had time to before.
Andrea Miller was working on her master’s degree at VCU in the mid-80’s when a class assignment brought her to North Mooreland Road to interview Nancy Newlin, Collegiate’s director of guidance and college counseling. Nancy offered her a very part-time job in 1988, she came on board full time a year later, and now steps back after 31 years as an Upper School counselor who has gently and compassionately guided students as well as overseen a host of meaningful community service endeavors.
What’s kept you here all these years?
Collegiate has been my second family. All three children (Ashley ’01, Craig ’05 , and Kevin ‘11) went through. It’s the community and the relationships. It’s a special place. We’ve undergone change, but the changes have been positive. I’ve appreciated that we’ve grown yet kept our core values.
What makes this the right time?
It’s been in the back of my mind for three or four years. As my (four) grandchildren (ages one-and-a-half to 12) get older, I’d like to be there (Bridgewater, VA) more. My parents (in Rehoboth Beach, DE) need me more, so the time is good. We have a young counseling staff. That’s good for the school. I’m happy where I am in my career. I want to leave on that note. I got one piece of advice from (retired Middle School counselor) Sally Chambers: Don’t fill up all your time right
away with a lot of commitments. Take time to breathe, then figure out your next step. I see retirement as a door opening to the next adventure.
Could you have imagined this ending?
No. It’s surreal. I can understand in a different way what seniors are going through because of what Collegiate is about: relationships. I was looking very forward to the spring and spending time with the kids and colleagues face to face and having my last session of the John Maloney Project which has been really dear to my heart. I just never imagined not having that final spring session with those kids and partnerships we have with Faison School. I’m very proud of the school for the way they’ve handled everything. I hear only positive things from my advisees. Given our circumstances, we’re still here for one another even if it’s from a distance.
Dr. Brian Ross, who spent the first 28 years of his career at schools from Cleveland to the Virgin Islands, arrived at Collegiate 15 years ago to teach Upper School history. He and his wife Toni are returning to Ann Arbor, MI, to be near their two daughters, two grandchildren, and much of their extended family.
You’ve been all over. What’s kept you at Collegiate?
It’s hard to describe. There’s something about the culture where you connect to students in a special way. Everyone’s trying to help each other. Even right now, students are incredibly patient, supportive, and kind throughout this whole (remote learning) experience. It seems to me that we’re seeing the best of Collegiate students in this tough time.
Why stop now? You’ve only been teaching 43 years.
I’m not really stopping. I’ll be doing a lot of writing. I’ll be working with young University of Michigan students who want to be history teachers. When I was young, I thought about law school or business school. I lived overseas for two years. I thought about international relations or studying languages. Then, when I was getting my master’s (in history at Michigan), I took a methods course, and the idea of teaching history was wonderful. So I hope to teach the same course that got me interested in history teaching in the first place.
Your parting thoughts?
I look forward to retiring, but I’m in pain too. Leaving our Collegiate students is hard. Under these circumstances, I know I might not see a lot of them again. I’ll miss them tremendously. I’ll keep them forever in my heart.
Debbie Lappan had already retired once. She thought her career was over after 34 years in Chesterfield County. Two years later, she began subbing at Collegiate. Not long after, a 1st and 2nd grade assistant position opened, and she readily accepted. Ultimately she landed with the kindergarten team. After eight years on North Mooreland Road, now she’s retiring for good.
Why caused you to un-retire?
I sort of got the itch again. I guess I was younger than I thought I was. The first time I set foot on the Collegiate campus, a really young little boy opened the door for me. That’s a first impression I’ll never forget. Those kinds of things just kept coming. Once I took that first assistant’s job, I never looked back. It’s been a very special place. Now, I’m ready to start checking some other things off my bucket list.
How have you managed amidst the craziness of the end of your career?
Pretty well. We’re all in the same boat. We support each other. The kindergarten team is fabulous as have been the others I’ve worked on. These teachers are inspirational. Even in times like this, they give it their all like they do every day. We’re getting through it. This job is what we do. We’re in it to win it. We’re in it because we love it.
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